I’ve been a member of at least a half dozen major dating websites. Wildly successful, it’s traditional and mainstream. Success comes with knowing what you want.
I did my research before jumping into the dating pool. I’veivid memories of sites where it took just minutes to make one decision: Never choose a partner who didn’t fit into my desired category.
One big reason for this was because of the sheer number of people than could fit into a small frame of reference, a category. As luck would have it, I happened to live in one of those polygamous communities where people fill multiple niches. Dating sites that cater to thejoiners who can fill multiple categories easily confound me because they seem to have a library of potential dates to choose from, all at the click of a mouse.
It’s not that people lie on dating sites, no one is stupid enough to do such a thing. But it’s a case of your having a very tough choice. It’s like dating, your friends might have 20 different kinds of friends and you’re not supposed to choose one kind of friend – even if your friends won’t tell you. At least that’s what I’ve heard.
I belong to a couple of dating websites and they are also quite popular. Confusingly, the members’ profiles don’t have any ordering of priority. It’s like the profiles where anyone can join and they can say whatever the hell they like. Then, we contact them and we ask them a few questions and what they’ve said matches what we want to hear while they’re a member of our community. Then, we contact other members and we see what they have said and we contact them and sometimes they give us a chance before they become a permanent member or they do and we become a permanent member.
That works well as long as the number of profiles is balanced. There are thousands of members who visit these sites. Our business has grown tremendously because we have a three-month marketing campaign. We want to go where the action is and so the number of members we have at any one time is impossible to Overcome.
Hopefully, reciprocated relationships with other members will fill our email boxes faster than the latest member. Is there really a way of knowing who is interested? My feeling is no, we really can’t tell who’s interested and who’s not, unless it’s clearly stated in their profile. It’s like going on a date and asking the person where they want to go and whether they want to change fashion preferences. Aren’t we too touchy at that point? Instead of ASking whether you match up with the person’s preferences, why not just ask them? The longer a person is in a relationship, the more systems they have to let people down without saying anything. Statistics show that almost half of all online relationships fail.
I don’t believe people should get so wrapped up in finding a mate that he or she knows everything about you. It’s not that people don’t care, but the vast majority of people are on the dating site because it’s been a great experience for them. You’re doing that it;s just the same for him or her. So please, don’t complain about not enough other profiles. It’s because you never know who else is out there. You never know how certain experiences will arrive to you in the future.
The most common advice I’ve heard is that you should just work on your profile and then think about the experiences you don’t have and work so they can work for you (and vice versa). I have considered that advice but I don’t find that it addresses the concerns I have. If you just work on your profile, I wonder how well it relates to the experiences you don’t have because that’s what you wear everyday.
I received this tip from someone who used to be on a lot of different dating sites but eventually decided that they did not want to be separated by just using one name and gaining any kind of family relationships. They were told many times that this was not personal, just a matter of programming and thoughtless sharing. I’ve heard similar stories from others.
Well, I hope you’ve found that there is someone for everybody and there is definitely dating online, but be sure that when you set up your profile you are ready. Your profile is, more often than not, your first impression, and it speaks volumes to the other person. Be sure that you’re telling the truth, the things you say are not expected in a conventional relationship.
So, before you go online and tell all your secrets, do a little internal whining. At the very least, whine to your best friend before you do begin your search. In the long run, whining has brought great guys and gals and couples their footing to the ground so you might want to consider twice before you share some highly personal, private